I get quite a few enquiries from men asking why is it that there are no articles dedicated to the groom, we all know that it's supposed to be the brides big day but what about the groom, surely it's his big day too.
Here are a few bits and pieces to help you through the lead up and your big day.
Who Pays for what?
Well you asked the girl of your dreams and she said yes, so now it's down to that old demon money and who pays for what. Traditionally the brides father pays for most of the wedding however in the new climate more couples like to take control of the wedding plans and receive contribution towards the cost by both parents. The Brides father will still expect and more than likely demand to pay for a large percent of the wedding. Cost wise, depending on what type of wedding you decide to have, could be between £7,000 to £14,000 or even higher.
Before you start arranging what you want it is a good idea to sit down and work out what you can afford. if you are funding this yourself then remember it may be the best day of your lives, however there are other days afterwards and you need money to live on, so budget wisely and don't over commit. If you are getting contributions then you must settle on a figure, some parents decide to pay for a specific part of the wedding.
The financial part of the wedding usually causes the most stress and tension between families than any other part, that why budgeting is so important.
Where and When
Now we have got that out of the way the next thing is to is decide the date and venues, having said that it's not that easy, first you have to choose what type of ceremony and where you want it then you will have to find out what dates are available. The chances are if you go for a weekday you are more likely to book the venue you want and be closer to your original date that you had planned for your wedding also tying in a venue for your reception should be easier and this also could save your budget as midweek or out of season booking should be slightly cheaper as most would be happy to take the additional booking midweek. The main draw back would be with guest having organise themselves for a weekday wedding. If after considering everything you decide you must have an in season weekend wedding then book early as this will give you more choice.
Who and how many
This is another possible argument waiting to happen. Depending on who's paying and obviously your budget will decide roughly how many guest you can invite and who they are, however make sure there is an even balance between both parties. As a rough guide immediate family down to cousins are usually place straight on the list then most parents have friends of the family who they must invite and then there are joint friends of the couple and then close friends of the bride and close friends of the grooms, then you can also add work colleges and additional acquaintances to the end of the list depending on budget.
The next thing you need to do is break the list down to who attends the service, this usually goes down to family and close friends and work colleges. The next thing is the main reception and again it depends on budget, however as a guide this would be family and close friends followed by a informal reception in the evening for all the rest of your friends and colleges to come along. Some couples decide to have one reception only in the form of a stand up buffet; this usually brings the price down per head so that they can invite more people.
The Best Man
Now this in theory should be easy, you choose your brother or your closest friend, tell them to write a witty speech and that's that, however there more to being a best man and some consideration taken in choosing the man for the job, there is quite a bit of responsibility and you will need someone who is level headed to take on the role.
The best man is usually involved right from the start, this ensures that someone else knows what supposed to be happening. He will also liaise with the ushers in organising there roles and also be on hand for fittings and arranging that all are available for the rehearsals. He will also help in choosing both your outfits and in the collection of them if hired. On the day itself he will be on hand to make sure your ready and will try to keep you calm, remember he is more than likely as nervous as you. If you are going on honeymoon he will take charge of your bags and passports also he should have the ring somewhere safe (hopefully). His main responsibility is to get you to the service on time, well actually early. He will now dart around making sure all the ushers are there and that all is running smoothly then back to check on you.
The best man will dart off straight after you when you leave the service to the reception, he will take the short cut so he arrives hopefully before you, if not directly behind you. He will then attend to his duties during the reception and lastly make sure you leave on time. I will List the duties of the best man and usher in a later feature.
The Stag Night
This usually is organised by the best man however it is a good idea to have some form of input. Also consider having it a good few days before the wedding as the night before could cause a lot of nauseating problems in the morning!
Well all that's left is to choose your outfit, the rings and book your honeymoon destination.
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